Men Domestic Violence Victims
Another thought-provoking question from the Krock family of listeners. A gentleman called the show on Tuesday, with this dilemma: His girlfriend who was a relatively reasonable person by day, was not as much when adding alcohol. On occasions after drinking, she would become extremely aggressive; often times throwing things, breaking dishes, pushing him, kicking him etc… When attempting to leave the apartment, she would block the door telling him that there was nothing he could do, and that if he left she would call the police and have him arrested for hitting her (even though he hadn’t) because he was the man and they would believe her. His question to our attorney was “How do I get this girl to chill out, and stop physically assaulting me without getting myself arrested?”
No one, man or woman should be subject to domestic violence. Many men are afraid to come forward or ask for help through community agencies or police intervention for fear that they will be seen as the aggressor, risk their freedom and maybe be removed from the home where there may be children involved. Often times men also have a sense of shame that they are being “beat up by a woman”.
For these reasons, it’s especially important that men do involve the authorities before a situation escalates or becomes violent if possible. For the man to be the one that calls the authorities and explain that he is trying to leave the home, that he is being assaulted, prevented from leaving, and does not want to use any type of force will help to accurately describe and document the situation he may be in.
The same advice holds true for men as it does for women regarding having an “escape plan” in place. Have a plan of where you can go if necessary. Keep copies of important records such as medical information for yourself and your children, bank account information, and emergency phone numbers. Don’t wait until it happens again to talk with someone. Make an appointment to get counseling for yourself, and your children if necessary- document everything and keep your notes in a safe place with a friend, relative, or at work. If you are injured, seek medical attention. Be honest with the physician how it happened and have it documented in case of future legal actions. Here in Syracuse, Vera House is the local agency assisting in domestic violence. More information can be found on their website here: VERA HOUSE WEBSITE. Their phone number is 315-468-3260.
Finally, talk with an attorney and understand what your rights and options are. A knowledgeable, experienced attorney can help you understand what steps may be necessary for criminal charges, child custody, divorce, or any other legal issues that may come up. If you are a woman reading this, the advice is the same. No one, man or woman should be subjected to abuse.
If you are in the CNY area and have further questions regarding a particular matter, please give us a call at 315-701-2939 CONTACT OUR OFFICE ONLINE.
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